Looks like someone is working out!!

Another Rule: Participants using baseball bats with nails in will be immediately disqualified from Official Troll Thumping Day. Furthermore, infringers will be sat before a troll judiciary to show just cause as to why they should be allowed to participate in future events.

(psssst, Po', here's your chance to make a few buck$ on the side....ssshhhhh )

In fact, participants will only be allowed to troll thump with authentic handcrafted thumpers....get in quick people and place your order with Po' before they all run out.

Last years model...New one on the way.


The layout for this thread is all whacked out on my PC. Does anyone else notice, and if so, can we get a mod to tweak it back?

whacked here also po'(i bet the troll did it)

The layout for this thread is all whacked out on my PC.

Yep, all scrwewy here too....at first I thought it might've been that wascally wabbit, but the more me thinks about it, skinhit is probably right and it's those mischievous trolls at work again .....

That's why troll thumping day is so essential....it acts as a deterrent to wanton acts of troll vandalism such as this. The trouble is, because troll thumping day is but once a year, troublesome trolls take advantage of the off season to wreak havoc upon unsuspecting villagers. I therefore propose we inaugurate bi-annual or quarterly troll thumping days to curb these wilful acts of destruction throughout the year....

Given that the average troll takes about 11 weeks to recuperate after a good thumping, perhaps quarterly thumpings are in order....that would give them just four weeks annually to misbehave, thus providing us just enough incentive to continue congregating in the village square for this splendid event.

I therefore propose we inaugurate bi-annual or quarterly troll thumping days

The problem with that is PETTA (People For Ethical Treatment Of Trolls Associated). Since thumping started in an effort to control the Troll population, They say that thumping more than once a year could potentially cause a catastrophic decrease in the population leading to irreversible damage and the possible extinction.

Before PETTA, it was kind of open season and you had your chronic thumpers who just couldn't stop themselves. They would would thump day and night all year 'round. Even when you put aside the harm it does to the Troll population if you spend all your time thumping, you also have to take into account the long term affects of constantly handling your thumper and thumping whenever you feel like it. Many a Thumper had to give up thumping all together due to carpel tunnel, arthritis, and the few who just went blind from thumping in the dark so much.

I would like to thank you for your pointing out about the baseball bats. They tend to be a little to heavy and big. Remember, it's not the size of your thumper that matters, but the quality of the thump.

Finally, we also have to keep in mind that Troll dung is quite valuable as a fertilizer and many farmers and such depend on it. We can't be thumping like kids with a new toy just because it's fun whenever we feel like it. This could cause Trolls to become extinct. A good thought to keep in mind is that Thumping is best done in moderation and that every dung is sacred.

They say that thumping more than once a year could potentially cause a catastrophic decrease in the population leading to irreversible damage and the possible extinction.

I see the concern there, and of course we do not wish to eradicate the troll population, which is why troll thumping day would be strictly monitored by Petta to ensure it would not be open slather...that participant behaved in an orderly manner and used only authorized thumpers. The last thing we want is for welfare groups getting on our case because thumpings occurred by way of unauthorized 'weapons' that caused undue harm, unnecessary pain and suffering....which is why the use of baseball bats must be considered as unacceptable.

Troll dung is quite valuable

So mebbe we should go in there whoopin' n' a hollerin', our thumpers a blazin' and scare the sh!t out of 'em first.

So mebbe we should go in there whoopin' n' a hollerin', our thumpers a blazin' and scare the sh!t out of 'em first.

I..uh...the...damn..I have no response for this.

I..uh...the...damn..I have no response for this.

Well you should have....like um, er: "I know I'll never catch up with Bill Gates (only cos he got a massive head start), but I'd like to be independently wealthy, too." And being that troll dung is a commodity of great worth, its collection and distribution would be be a great place to start for that first billion.

Okay, it's not software (depends if they're constipated or not), but given its high marketability, troll dung is the way to go....very low overheads, unless of course, we started wining and dining them in fancy, high priced restaraunts. Personally, I'd recommend very high fibre diets to keep production at it's optimum....and if we went in there whoopin' n' a hollerin' twice a week, we'd have a steady income stream in no time at all...

Hang on a moment while I whip this out...

...I have a hugh shillelagh   

...I have a hugh shillelagh

Braggart!!!

Nothing quite like having the proper kit   

Remember, it's not the size of your thumper that matters, but the quality of the thump.

Remember, it's not the size of your thumper that matters, but the quality of the thump.