or..Things That Make My Wife Laugh
6 weeks into the pregnancy and my wife has finally discovered what a comedian I am.
These are things that make her laugh.
"Honey, you shouldn't eat that, it has (caffiene, sugar, carbs, a non-Splenda artificial sweetner)."
"I can handle poopy diapers. I pick up the dog's shit, don't I?"
"If it's a boy we could call him...
Cotton?
Cash?
Cadence?
Levi?'
"If it's a girl we could call her
Journey?
Carmelita?
Gabrielle?"
"You know you shouldn't do that."
"Of course I will get up in the middle of the night with you."
Things that REALLY make her laugh...
"How hard can it be?"
"But I like the playpen with the changing table."
"What do you mean I won't be able to use a changing table?"
"Then why do they even make changing tables?"
"OOOh. I like the little sheepies!" (Don't ask.)
"But it says right here that the curved bottle is better for the baby."
"If I can handle you when you got food poisoning, I can handle a little baby spew."
"Honey, will you stop explaining every little thing to me. I'll figure it out for myself as we go along."
"Honey, will you stop explaining every little thing to me. I'll figure it out for myself as we go along. I'm a grown man."
"Honey, will you stop explaining every little thing to me. I'll figure it out for myself as we go along. I'm a grown man. I've put complex electronics together."
"You know you shouldn't eat that. What did the doctor tell you?"
This one really cracks her up.
"Honey...Honey! Honey, you know that's bad for the baby. Don't make me assert my authority."