Po' Smedley's Life And Brain Drippings
Apparently not my input.
Published on June 13, 2006 By PoSmedley In Life Journals
Two years ago, early spring, we had a yardsale. We had some stuff to get rid of.


While going through the closets, my wife came across a mountain of my step-sons baby and toddler clothes. There was also a crib and other 'accessories'.
Now, I'm not one for pack-ratting, though I do save ;some' things. She saves everything. I mean every-thing. She has boxes and boxes filled with his school stuff from Kindergarten up to 4th grade. I'm not just talking about his special projects and report cards. She has actual lunch menu's and handwriting practice sheets. She saves everything.


I gently try to persuade her, for the fourth or fifth time to put the stuff out in the yard sale. (Not the school stuff. Unless you know of a 1st grader in search of a term paper.)
She, for the first time, says 'okay'. My wife of a little over a year looks at me and laugh's "It's not like we're going to have a baby at our age." Now, at the time, I was 41. My wife is younger than I am. Younger by a few years. I would have said 'much' younger, but I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. (Did I make you sound young enough, dear?)

"No. No way." I laugh.

But then her eyes soften and she says "but, what if we want to..."

This conversation has come up before. A few months into our marraige it came up. Hanging on the refrigerator, so I wouldn't forget, is a yellowed piece of paper with a name written on it. (It hangs next to a news paper clipping of the floor plan for my dream house, that is almost as old and yellowed) It's the name I wanted for the baby, should we ever decide to have one. It's the name that sent chills up the spine of my southern Mother-in-Law, who prefers the more traditional names like Bubba, CW, and Stonewall. (Okay, I exaggerate , but you get the picture.) It's the name that caused my new wife to look at me and wonder if maybe she shouldn't have been so quick to say 'I do'.

David? Noah?

Anyway, after running through the pro's, con's, and what if's, I convinced her to put the stuff in the yardsale. Now, this is cute. here was my final argument or selling point. "Look, honey, if we do decide to have a baby, we'll just start over with all this." Kinda lame, huh? Well, between that and probably just exhaustion from discussing it, she agreed. Do you see a trend here?

We sold it all. Well, almost all. She convinced me to let her keep the truly sentimental things. Some other things we gave to family who were expecting. Over the next few weeks, she lamented over some of the items. There were clothes that had never been worn and still had the tags on them. There were baby blankets, and shoes, and such. Strollers, ("Those are expensive, honey. Shouldn't we at least keep them?" she said) toys, and a plethora of baby and toddler paraphernalia. We made a few bucks.



I am now 43. I've had an interesting life. I started playing guitar for money at 17. I've done community theater, dinner theater, was an extra in a movie, was on Oprah (don't ask) and have traveled a lot. Seen my face in tha paper a few times. (no, not the police blog) I've met a few famous folks and watched friends become famous. I also had my low moments and have often laughed that I was kind of like the famous person that no one ever knew. I'm married and have a wonderful step-son. I can look back and say, I've done a lot. A whole lot. But, not everything. Not quite.


I have never been over sea's. I've never climbed a mountain or anything physically challenging like that. I've never seen the Statue of Liberty, though I have been to New York more times than I can count. there is a lot I have never done. I've never had a baby.


Last week, my younger than I wife informed me I was about to embark on a new adventure. An 'unplanned adventure'. That I could cross off one of those "I have never things." With tears in her eyes and absolutely no words, she looked at me and just nodded quickly. I stiffled a smile, laugh, and tears as she just broke down. She was more afraid of how I would take it than I was. She's funny that way. That's why I love her, or I should say, one of many reasons. She informed me, that at 43, I was going to become a Daddy. A Father. The Ol' Man. Pappa Smurf. (Right now, I see myself more as Homer Simpson.)


Remeber the 'trend' I mentioned? Did you see it? I'm psychic! I am! The name on the refrigerator. The profoundly futuristic statement of "We can start over." I was just too stupid to see it. Yeah. That's it. Not too mention, after over a year of recovering from a spinal fusion and all the pain, and constantly asking God "When does it end? The pain, the hardship, the financial burden of being out of work? When will you do something good for us?"

I asked for it. I actually asked for it. So, did my wife. We practically said "Give us a miracle" and demanded it. And boy, did he answer. (Note to self...Be careful what you pray for.)

Someone, having heard the news, said to me "Life as you know it.. is now over." Truer words could not be spoken. But then, shoudn't every day be like that? You know the old saying, 'Today is the first day...yadda yadda". Shouldn't every day be the the beginning of a new adventure? No matter what the obstacles, no matter how difficult it seems, no matter how hopeless, shouldn't everyday be a challenge and an adventure that we should dive into? Instead of wading in with all the baggage from the days before, shouldn't we just dive in?

We broke the news to family and friends. I'm sharing it here with the friends I have made here over the past year. Pretty much sharing it with the world. We are both over the initial shock of this very unexpected gift and blessing to our lives and looking forward to our new lives. Today is a good day.

Oh yeah. The name I wrote on the piece of paper and hung on the fridge..."Journey".


Oh wait.....

"Honey, what about 'Candida'?"


on Jun 13, 2006
Congrats and Good Luck! What a fun adventure to embark on
on Jun 13, 2006
Thank you!
on Jun 13, 2006

Imagine you can take your son/daughter see the statue of liberty or go overseas or climb a mountain!! There's so many things that you WILL HAVE to do now

That was a very nice article I enjoyed it very much and as for a name how about Kenzo if he's a boy?? I love the unusual names that are pronounciated the same no matter the language.
on Jun 14, 2006

Wow, I don't know how I ever missed your previous articles, but now that I know you're here and you write so fantastically well, I'm going to read all your stuff.

Congratulations, and I second the candida nixing.  It's the name most given to a vaginal yeast infection.

Oh, in case you didn't know, I knit.  I'm going to make you a baby beanie....if you can email me at dharmagirl69@gmail.com we can talk about how it's going to get to you.

on Jun 14, 2006

I forgot to tell you:  I LOVE Journey for a boy.  When I was pregnant with my daughter, I had decided on Nirvana for a girl and Kreed for a boy...until right before she was born when I met a nurse with my daughter's name and liked it so much that I changed my mind.  Her name now?  Shea.  Pronounced 'Shay'.

My sons were going to be Jessica Ranae and Delaney Ruth if they were girls.  As it turned out, they both had 2 berries and a twig, so they were named David Alexander (not my choice; my husband had decided on that name when he was in High School and there wasn't any changing his mind) and Jacob Solomon (we had originally intended to have the names the other way around, but changed our minds, again at the last minute. I sometimes wish that we hadn't).

I often what,  were possible for me to have another child, I would name it.  I think that Nirvana would still be my choice for a girl, and for a boy.....?  Well, I like Little Whip's suggestion of Justice.  They both 'fit' my husband and I, y'see.  He's a cop, so Justice is highly appropriate, and I have a lot of respect for eastern and tibetan philosophies and cultures, so Nirvana fits pretty well.  Of course, we're not going to have another child.  It's physically impossible - I don't have a unterus and he got snipped right after the birth of our third.

It's nice to dream though, isn't it?


on Jun 14, 2006
How wonderful, congratulations! For a girl, I love Virginia Christine. Virginia was a girl I met in high school who became one of my best friends, and I loved her name, I thought it was beautiful. Christine is from Phantom of the Opera, because I'm a big nerd and I love that musical with all of my heart.

For a boy I would pick Gene Andrew. Gene after the great Gene Kelly (my Idol!) and Andrew for the most kick ass person in the world, Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber. I know I'm pretty dorky, but there you have it.
on Jun 15, 2006
Thank you everyone, for the congrats.

A special thanks for the info on 'Candida'. I had no idea. Whew.

The suggestions have added to the confusion. lol. We're looking (at least, I'm told we are) for a name that starts with a hard C, too go with my step-son;s name.

A baby beanie would be awesome, dharmagrl. May I suggest blackang gold (JU colors)? I could take a pic and post it here, after the bun is out of tthe oven.
on Jun 15, 2006
you write so well and make everyday stuff come to life. Thank you for that.

congrats and if a boy may I suggest, Elie.. heh heh heh works for a girl too, ellie .

MM AKA elie
on Jun 15, 2006
Wow, I don't know how I ever missed your previous articles, but now that I know you're here and you write so fantastically well, I'm going to read all your stuff.

I was just about to say the same thing!

This was really a very nice blog! Congrats, congrats, congrats! You guys are in for a whirl of a time!
on Jun 15, 2006
BTW, Camden is a lovely name for a boy!
on Jun 16, 2006

well here's I am the last blogger again...


Now I got those "C" names stuck in my head like a song, over and over...

Curt, Curtis, Cornwall, Camden IS neat,  or, or....

just plain congrats!  happy shopping